I just made out with a guy for $7.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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