I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
