it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
