i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You're a disaster
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