does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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