dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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