her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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