ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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