thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
