They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
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I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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