they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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