I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
