The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
