Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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