I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
