she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
