Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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