Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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