She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
