I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
