i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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