You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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