office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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