She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
