I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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