Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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