great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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