while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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