I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
