I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
