I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I CAN MOONWALK!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
