You surviving the open bar?
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No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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