I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
