How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
