Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Let's get the cat blown out
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
