He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just made my gag reflex go away.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
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You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
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I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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