if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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