After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
