Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
