So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
