I can't breathe out the right side of my face
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
