Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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