I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
