I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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