I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
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My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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