So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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