I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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