I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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