Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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