Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
