Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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