I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
