Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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