that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
