lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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