Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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