He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.