I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.