as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!