is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.