My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
