I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
