So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
